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March 2005 Table of Contents
Cover Story
Stress Ministry & Mid-life Crisis
by Shanda Lyons
I have a question for you. Have you ever had a bad day? Bad week? Have your struggles ever turned into such a gloom that you just didn't want to get out of bed? Or even worse, you just couldn't continue the path life had you on?
We have been facing some unusual circumstances the past year or so. Because we have been open with those around us, we have been surprised to learn how many people go through something so similar. "In the moment" we have felt so alone, but graciously the Lord has put in our path others who have struggled as well. This has been a huge encouragement to us.
Let me back up for about a year. Kirk had been dealing with several physical ailments, migraines, sinus infections, persistent stomach problems, which were truly robbing him of his joy in everything. He had minor surgery that he didn't recover well from and his health and attitude continued to spiral downward. We counseled with our Doctor and he ran every test in the book and determined that Kirk is as healthy as an OX! But he still felt bad! Day in and day out. First diagnosis …extreme fatigue. That made sense …work, travel, 3 small children, every day stresses of life, home and family. That will make anyone tired! Get more rest, exercise, eat better. Got it! Done. Still not feeling good. Next step, to a specialist. More tests were run, and a specific unique diagnosis handed down with medication and instructions. Several weeks later, no change. At wit's end, and convinced he's completely crazy, Kirk called our friend Dr. Randy Hays. As Kirk gave him all of the details, Randy's diagnosis was quite surprising! His physical symptoms were a result of severe depression, panic and anxiety attacks.
What? Depression? But, there's no sign of sadness, no outward expressions of what one thinks depression looks like. Well, isn't that just for ladies anyway? Or, there are those men who go through that mid life crisis, thing, right? And we know how to recognize that …he begins looking for something new that will make him feel young again. That wasn't at all what Kirk was feeling. Finally, just feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and seriously considering throwing in the towel in many areas of life, he accepted the diagnosis and began the long and arduous task of healing. Let me say that we continually sought the prayer support and counsel of Godly men and women. Our Pastors encouraged us and we followed Scriptural instructions in asking for healing. But the Lord has chosen, for now, not to take this away from us.
As it turns out, Depression can take on many forms and cause a vast range of reactions within each of us. Our minds are such powerful instruments that they can influence your physical well being. Many people struggle with emotional issues, but don't know how to admit it. Our minds can't always process what is happening emotionally. Well meaning friends and family say shrug it off or buckle up and deal with it. The reality is that sometimes we just can't! WOW! Maybe that's why the Lord instructs us to guard our hearts and minds. Limit and carefully edit the stream of information that we allow into our minds. He reminds us to put on our helmet of salvation, cleansing our minds through the washing of the Water of The Word. We need the protection from the enemy who seeks to destroy our minds.
Kirk did take some seriously needed time off from work and responsibility. That did eventually help some. Some of the most helpful treatments in our case have been medications coupled with insight from an ongoing relationship with a Christian Counselor. Kirk has, in fact, needed the help of a Psychiatrist to help in determining and treatment of some specific areas of need.
This is in no way fashionable to admit or talk about. This is a very humbling disease. Friends and family will not know how to respond to you or help you. They may also need to seek professional counsel. But, what the Lord has convinced Kirk and me of is that none of us are alone. He calls us to share our burdens and encourage one another.
Since we have found these diagnoses to be somewhat common, God has given us a passion to share our experiences to help others who may be struggling. In this issue of The Communicator, we've enlisted the help of some friends and professionals to guide you through the facts as well as the helps that are available to you. We pray that you will be encouraged, and if you need professional help, please take time to seek it! Jehovah Raphah is our HEALER! Many times that healing comes in different ways, and it is our responsibility to seek every avenue for that healing. May God bless you on your journeys.
The Driven Life: Finding Purpose in Stress
Randall L. Hays, M.D.
Minister of Music and Worship
Bear Creek Baptist Church
Houston, Texas
 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life Of course not! And if worry can't do little things like that what's the use of worrying over bigger things?
JESUS
(Luke 12:25-26, The New Living Translation)
One Saturday a few years ago, I was enjoying quality father/son moments as my son and I dutifully washed the car together. (You get the picture; I am spending as much time washing the car as I am cleaning up the soap that he is putting on places I have already cleaned.) I decided to probe his seven-year-old mind with a question parents ask. "Harrison, what are you thinking you would like to be when you grow up?" His brilliant response was, "I don't know. Maybe nothing. Do you HAVE to work when you get big?" I admit I was not quite sure how to respond to the incredible ambition my child displayed, but it is true that job stress (in our case, ministry stress) is one of the primary sources of conflict in our lives.
In preparing this article, I discovered an advertisement that read something like this...
The Right People - The Right Answers - The Right Choice
We are a professional consulting company specializing in solving complex problems. Our professional team has a vested interest in helping you solve problems and building long-term relationships. We're available to help you around the clock so, while you can't control when problems will arise, you can control when they will be solved. When you succeed, we succeed.
Through our experience, commitment, expertise and service, we're confident we can take on any problem you have. We have the know-how and drive to find solutions through skill, determination and the knowledge that comes from more than thirty years in the problem-solving business. You always get the right people, the right answers, and a commitment to service.
Surprisingly, the ad was for a company that specialized in engineering design for stressful construction circumstances. The advertisement was meant to address the physical forces associated with the engineering world. However, wouldn't it be incredible if a company or individual could provide that sort of emotional, spiritual, and psychological support for our everyday stress? There are many days that I would love for Panacea Company X to sweep into my life with "right people with right answers" and a commitment to help me succeed in conquering stress once and for all.
We have all seen the bulletin blooper, "Don't let worry kill you, let the church help." We do not have to let stress destroy our lives. Hans Selye, a pioneer in the medical field regarding the health effects of stress said, "It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it." The fact is, we all have stress and learning healthy and positive responses to it are necessary for our survival.
Stedman's Medical Dictionary (24th edition) defines stress like this:
The reactions of the body to forces of a deleterious nature, infections, and various abnormal states that end to disturb its normal physiologic equilibrium (homeostasis).
Let's define the issue. Notice that stress is defined as "the reactions of the body" and not the negative forces themselves. Someone once said, "People are disturbed not by things, but by their perception of things." So, in reality, the issue is our reaction to events that cause stress. It is our resistance, our incorrect attitude, our negative emotion, and our choice to see the issue as a problem instead of an opportunity. A young boy once said, "I thank God everyday for my glasses. They keep the boys from hitting me and the girls from kissing me." Life really is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.
As a positive influence, our reaction to stress can help compel us toward action and can result in an exciting new awareness and perspective. All of us can relate instances where our response to a potentially stressful situation was fueled by our negative reaction to it. On the other hand, our positive response to stress causes us to become productive and determines much of what others would say contribute to our general success (think about your last pageant or production). With regard to our work performance as it relates to productivity, we often have our best results during the times of greatest potential stress. In fact, stress has been called the "spice of life."
The Physiological
Our stress response has been compared to an airplane readying for take-off. Virtually all systems of our body react. The heart races, blood pressure rises, muscles tense, lungs expand, blood flow changes, etc. All systems are modified in this "fight or flight" response. The best way to envision the effect of an acutely stressful event is to imagine yourself in a jungle coming face-to-face with a huge, hungry gorilla. (Alternatively, you could imagine a recent confrontation by a church member regarding the fact that the music was too loud. I am probably the only person who has had that conversation, right?)
There are many changes that cause the "fight or flight" response. Steroid hormones like cortisol are produced and released as well as other chemical messengers called catecholamines. These catecholamines…dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine (adrenaline) are responsible for the physiological, as well as the psychological responses.
The Psychological
These catecholamines, as well as serotonin...have been of interest with regard to the treatment of anxiety, depression and the psychological response to stress. Serotonin is the chemical that is critical for feelings of well-being and the inability to adapt to stress causes a loss of this sense of well-being. Therefore, modifying serotonin levels has recently been the primary treatment approach to both depression and anxiety. Evidence suggests the repeated release of stress hormones disrupts the normal levels of serotonin resulting in a diminished sense of well-being.
The Prescription
Stress is, of course, a factor in many illnesses that require professional treatment and a health professional should be consulted when symptoms related to stress become unmanageable. It is also important to recognize that the phrase "stressed out" is often an initial excuse for what is really clinical depression or a true anxiety disorder. These require professional assistance and not just a friendly "ministry ear." Ron Dunn once said, "If it weren't for tranquilizers, I would probably be on drugs myself." The truth is, there are times when we need the therapeutic benefits that medications offer.
However for those times when our response to stress is simply a negative choice, allow me to offer some practical stress reduction suggestions:
- Recognize what you CAN change and give productive energy to it
- Keep your perspective and look for the positive
- Maintain great relationships and friendships at home and at work
- Recognize failure as an event and not a "person"
- Use your sense of humor as a positive response
- Exercise
- Eat healthy
- Get proper sleep
- TAKE YOUR VACATIONS AND DAYS OFF!
- Pray
- Stay in the WORD of GOD
- Fix your gaze upon Jesus
Since most of us are worship leaders or are involved in worship ministries, let me remind you that maintaining a life of praise and a life of worship has tremendous therapeutic value. Jesus said in John 16:33, "In Me you may have peace" and 2 Corinthians 3 reminds us that we are transformed into the image of that which we worship. That can work to our good or it can work against us. Remember the encouragement of this hymn…
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face;
and the things of Earth
will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
May our image reflect Jesus in all that we do, all that we say and all that we think. Let's choose to find positive purpose, meaning, and direction as we respond to the stressful circumstances of life and ministry.
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