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June 2003 Table of Contents
Food For Thought
The Way-Out Weigh-In
By Derric Johnson
 It's not just here in the U.S.A. that the local morticians live off the fat of the land. It is a dilemma that girds the globe. But right here in the "Land of the Greed and the Home of the Crave," it is estimated by the boys with the slide rules that over 80 million Americans are overweight (these are round figures of course!) and that 30 million of them are in real physical danger.
The toughest part of dieting isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what your friends eat!
Of course, we all know that the culprit in this battle of the bulge is the calorie. And a calorie is nothing more than the amount of heat it takes to raise the temperature of one gram of water one degree centigrade. When you get too many calories in your system, you store them for future use and, like the person who swallowed the thermometer, you start dying by degrees.
If you're a normal American, crushed by epicurean temptation and overwhelmed with gastronomic guilt, you'll understand this plea:
SUPPERTIME SUPPLICATION
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
Incited by my wicked diet.
"We are what we eat!" said a wise old man;
And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
I want to rise on judgment day, that's plain;
But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-sticks be sated,
So that my soul may be polyunsaturated.
Please show me the light that I may bear witness
To the President's Council on Physical Fitness,
So that at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
Because the road to hell is paved with butter.
And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
And Satan is lurking in every waffle.
Mephistopheles hides in provolone;
And the devil resides in each slice of baloney.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
But cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees:
Deliver me from jujubes.
And when my days of trial are done
And my war with malted milks is won,
Let me stand with your heavenly throng
In a shining robe...size 42 long.
I can do it, Lord, if you'll show to me
The virtues of lettuce and celery;
If you'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise
And the sinfulness of hollandaise.
Of Pasta ala milannaise,
Potatoes ala Lyonnaise
And crisp-fried chicken from the south.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.
But, while you're still confined to living on this overstuffed Planet Earth, joining a local chapter of Avoirdupois Anonymous is a possibility. You remember them...and their slogan: "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet!"
With your membership card you get a free calorie counter and the privilege of competing for the annual No-Belly Prize. Weight experts have divided humankind into three physical types:
ECTOMORPHS...the thin people
ENDOMORPHS...the fat people
MESOMORPHS...the burly people
(The Greek word MORPH, meaning FORM, is the basis for these terms, plus three Greek prefixes...ECTO, ENDO, and MESO.
ECTO means EXTERIOR, suggesting that the thin person has his weight outside. It never got inside, therefore he is thin.
MESO means MIDDLE, implying that the mesomorph carries his weight at the halfway point.
You can guess where the ENDOmorph has his.
But you should never say diet! At least in one weighty territory of your life. That's right...the Bible declares it's a blessing to be fat! That's the really "good news" to some folks.
That's right...fat's where it's at!
But you have to realize the Good Book is talking about something other than mammoth meals and mouth-watering morsels that add magnitude to mass.
Actually, it's referring to the condition of your soul, your spiritual life, that "hidden man of the heart." Check this menu, straight from the book of Proverbs, "HOW TO BEEF UP YOUR SOUL IN FOUR EASY LESSONS":
1. SELFLESSNESS "The liberal soul shall be made fat" (11:25). Just another way of saying, "Give, and it shall be given unto you." That's the exact opposite of daily life where the more you take in, the bigger you get. Ministry always focuses on the concept of "outgo produces income." The point of life is never, "What's in it for me?" but rather, "What's in me for it?"
2. STEADINESS "The diligent soul shall be made fat" (13:14). Take your responsibilities seriously. Are you an accountable person? Then act that way! It is time that each person assumes answerability for his/her own attitudes, actions, and destiny. Have you ever found it strange that before we're part of the Church, we always blame God for everything that goes wrong? And after we are part of the Spiritual Family, then all the storms and trials that come are from Satan. "It's never my fault. There's some sort of conspiracy going on here! Somebody's out to get me." The truth is...take care of yourself. Neglect your body, and you'll disappear in no time. Neglect your soul, and the same tragedy takes place.
3. SWEETNESS "A good report makes the bones fat" (15:30). Here we are at personal focus again. The invisible man can't live and grow on gossip, lies, and fluffy truth. Never be the "on-purpose-searcher-outer" of bad news and stormy rumors. Go the other way be the other voice. After all, happiness is like honey...you can't spread even a little bit without getting some of it on yourself. Keep your center on the Word of God, spiritual conversation, wholesome thoughts, and "whatsoever things are of good report" (Phil. 4:8).
4. SURENESS "He who trusts God shall be made fat" (28:25). Mixing faith with the Word of God always causes growth, but simply reading it without living it will never add weight to your soul. Faith is not belief without proof...it is trust without reservation. Faith is to be acted upon. It is always substantial...you know, factual and actual. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Build your whole life...the way you live, and how you act, on your trust in God.
Faith isn't just believing, it's also behaving. So...snack on that for a while.
Remember the story in the book of Daniel about the banquet in the Great Hall of King Belshazzar. The finger of God (which appeared only three times in all of Scripture) wrote across the Hall wall: MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN.
In my fourth grade Sunday School class, those words were immediately translated: MEANY, MEANY, TICKLE THE PARSON.
But we had a good teacher who wouldn't let us get by with that, and we discovered the real meaning of that verse in Daniel 5:27 is "Thou art weighed in the balances...and art found wanting."
Hey, King Belshazzar...you just don't weigh enough for God! Come to think of it, we're all going to have a confrontation like that. Get ready.
Never say diet when it comes to your spiritual life! Fill up lavishly on milk, meat and honey for the inner man. Someday, you're going to need all you can get.
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