June 2002 Table of Contents

Ministry Insights
Insights For Effective Ministry

By Don McMinn

All ministers have to deal with people. That’s challenging enough. Worship leaders have to deal with musicians. Sometimes, that’s about as easy as swimming through a pool of peanut butter. For instance, do these comments remind you of some of your musicians:

• How can you tell that there’s a vocalist at your front door? She forgot the key and doesn’t know when to come in.
• What’s the difference between a musician and a savings bond? One of them eventually matures and earns money.
• How do you get a lead guitarist to stop playing? You put sheet music in front of him.
• What do you call someone who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer.
• “Mother, I want to grow up and be a rock-n-roll musician.” Now son, you have to pick one or the other. You can’t do both.”

Maybe it’s not that bad…(shall we vote?)

One thing is for sure – we are in the people business! As ministers of the gospel, we must get good at relationships. Rehearsals, sound systems, pageants, music, events – these are just tools to help facilitate the real essence of effective ministry, which is to love God and love others. So in addition to developing our musical skills, sharpening our theology, becoming better time managers, and all the other areas of expertise that are required of a minister of music, we should strive to excel in the area of human relationships. We need to become good “people persons.”

The key to developing good relational skills is to learn and practice the One Anothers of Scripture. Thirty-five times in the New Testament, we see a recurring word pattern – an action verb followed by the words “one another.” [ _______ one another] For instance, we are told to: prefer, accept, greet, encourage, forgive, comfort, wait for, honor…one another. Learn how to do these key verbs and you’ll learn how to relate to others in a loving, Christ-like manner. Improve your relationship skills and you’ll be a more effective minister of music.

Starting with this edition of the J&J Communicator, we’ll be studying a specific One Another in each magazine. You’ll not only be able to personally benefit from learning these keys to relational health, but the column will be written in such a way that you can use it as a devotional for your ministry team.

The first One Another we’ll consider is:

“Greet one another” (Romans 16:16).

Numerous times in Scripture we see the simple but powerful ministry of Greeting One Another. Because it is so simple to do and takes only a few seconds, we often underestimate the importance of this ministry and mistakenly assume that we all know how to greet others.

A short definition of Greet One Another is: Acknowledging and rejoicing in another person’s presence. Practically speaking, it simply means to say “hello” to people, to be conversational, to be relationally engaging – to be friendly. There’s nothing mysterious or complicated about greeting others but it’s amazing how, if we’re not careful, we can neglect this ministry.

A church member once accused me of being unfriendly and aloof. The comment shocked me because I knew in my heart that I always want to be just the opposite. When I asked her what I had done to make her feel that way she said, “Sometimes at church, you’ll pass me in the hall and not say anything to me.” My perspective on this was, “Sundays are just very busy for me. I have to negotiate a tight schedule that includes multiple services. I just don’t have time to talk to everyone I might see in the hallways.”

But my perspective was wrong. To come into the presence of another human being and not to acknowledge her presence is being unfriendly. I have since learned to offer a brief, two to five-second greeting to everyone I see.

Here are some practical suggestions on ways to greet others.

1. Prioritize people over things. In any situation, the most important commodity is people. People are more important than agendas, events, programs and equipment.
2. Be proactive in greeting others; take the initiative. Don’t wait for others to greet you; take the initiative.
3. Greet people one at a time. When you enter a room and there are five people there, instead of saying, “Hi, gang”; take the time to greet each person individually.
4. When in a group of people, if possible, greet everyone in the group; otherwise you may show favoritism. If you’re walking down the hallway and encounter three people standing in a group, it is important to greet each person. I would be awkward and rude to say hello to one person and ignore the other two.
5. Don’t neglect greeting people who are a regular part of your daily life. We may think that it is unnecessary to continually greet people whom we see every day, particularly those with whom we live, But it is important, so we should make an effort to greet them every time we see them.
6. Don’t greet people for the wrong reasons. Our motivation for greeting others must be pure and unselfish. We greet others, not for what we can get out of it, but for the benefit of others. Politicians may work the crowd for personal benefit, but we shouldn’t.
7. Make eye contact. Eye contact communicates that you are solely focused on a particular individual and that he has your undivided attention.
8. Smile. Although it lasts only a few seconds, a smile sets the stage for a warm, sincere, and effective greeting.
9. Develop a greeting vocabulary. Often, we may be reluctant to greet people because we’re not sure what to say. That’s why we need to learn an appropriate vocabulary. Phrases like:

“Hi, my name is ____, it’s good to see you.” “Hi, John. How was your day?” “Hello. I’m so glad you’re here.”

10. Call the person by name, or, if you don’t know his name, find it out. The most beautiful sound a person can hear is the sound of his own name, It’s imperative that we learn people’s names and speak their names frequently.
11. If you are greeting someone for the first time, give your name. Sharing your name is the first step toward being vulnerable with someone and it suggests that you want to establish a relationship.
12. Physically acknowledge and affirm the person you’re greeting. The apostle Paul instructed the early church to, “Greet with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16). Obviously, in the first century it was culturally appropriate to kiss the cheek of the person who was being greeted. In our culture, a handshake or a pat on the back is the norm.
13. Use a friendly tone of voice, and be warm and personable. When greeting someone, our tone of voice and general demeanor should communicate warmth, friendliness and affability.
14. Don’t be bothered by “polite conversation.” Most conversations begin with polite, diplomatic themes: “It was a beautiful day today, wasn’t it.” “How were your holidays?” Although everyone knows these topics are generic and somewhat superficial, they are, nevertheless, appropriate and acceptable and can provide a smooth segue into more serious topics.
15. If appropriate, introduce the person you are greeting to someone else in the group. If someone is visiting an organization for the first time or is new to the organization, after greeting the person yourself, introduce him to other people.
16. Be sensitive to discern what type of greeting is needed. When greeting someone, we need to be sensitive to discern how he is feeling emotionally so that we can respond appropriately.
17. An organization should provide an opportunity and a place for people to greet one another. Since greeting others is such an important ministry, an organization should provide the time and the place for its constituents to greet one another.

Greeting others is the first step toward becoming a good people-person. It is the “front door” to being involved in a person’s life. If we are reluctant to greet others we’ll be unable to minister the other One Anothers to them (encourage, comfort, be kind to, etc.).

If we will devote ourselves to the ministry of greeting others, we will become friendly, approachable people.

Don McMinn is the executive director of 6Acts Ministry and sponsors the annual Worship Leaders’ Retreat (biannual retreats that focus on relationships in the ministry). He has written two books on The One Anothers of Scripture. You may reach him at djmcminn@msn.com or at www.6Acts.org.

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