|
March 2002 Table of Contents
Insights For Effective Ministry
It's All About Relationships
By Don McMinn
When Orville and Wilbur Wright finally succeeded in keeping their homemade airplane in the air for fifty-nine seconds on December 17, 1903, they rushed a telegram to their sister in Dayton, Ohio and told her of their great accomplishment "First sustained flight today - fifty-nine seconds. Hope to be home by Christmas." Their sister was so excited about her brothers' success, she rushed to the newspaper office and gave the telegram to the editor. The next morning -- believe it or not -- the newspaper headline stated in bold letters: "Popular Local Bicycle Merchants to be Home for Holidays!"
The editor of the newspaper obviously missed it. He had first knowledge of one of the most momentous events of the 20th century - and he missed it.
I've been in the ministry for 30+ years and, I'm sad to admit, that for the first 20+ years of my ministry I "missed" the most important aspect of ministry. You've heard the phrase, "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing," well, for most of my ministry, I didn't know what the main thing was so I inadvertently neglected it.
The main thing in ministry is - relationships.
Relationships count! And as ministers of the gospel, we must get good at relationships. Consider the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:34-40): when asked to prioritize all of the commandments (and there were about 600 commandments that the Pharisees had codified) Jesus chose two that are relational in nature - love God and love others. As ministers, we are in the relationship business!
Rehearsals, sound systems, pageants, music, events - these are just tools to help facilitate the real essence of effective ministry, which is to love God and love others.
So in addition to developing our musical skills, sharpening our theology, becoming better time managers, and all the other areas of expertise that are required of a minister of music, we should strive to excel in the area of human relationships. We need to become good "people persons." Here are four good reasons improve our people skills.
- Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
- Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
- Name the last five winners of the Miss Universe contest.
- Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
- Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
- Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do? The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
- List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
- Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
- Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
- Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
- Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
- Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care; the ones that you have a relationship with. And, if we want to make a difference in other people's lives, we must do it through one-on-one relationships.
2. Joy in life comes through meaningful relationships.
A cartoon showed a robber pointing a gun at his victim and demanding, "Put all your valuables in this bag!" His victim then proceeded to stuff all his friends in the bag.
Indeed, what makes life both bearable and meaningful are our deep friendships. If we journey through life with a Lone Ranger mentality, we will have a sad and lonely trip. Relationships enrich our lives.
3. Our people skills will determine our success in the ministry.
The Carnegie Foundation discovered that, "About 15 percent of one's success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering - to personality and the ability to get along with and lead people."
Through the years I've know many ministers of music who were musically gifted but lacked relational skills. They end up hitting the "ceiling" early in their careers and spend most of their years engaged in routine, mechanical type ministry. I've also known ministers of music who were perhaps lacking in musical expertise but they had a genuine love for people and knew how to relate well. These individuals enjoy a fruitful satisfying, and long-lasting ministry.
Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence) says that, "Our professional training gives us the technical skills and knowledge base we need to do the job, but no one tells us that there is this whole other set of emotional intelligence-based abilities that make all the difference." He's talking about how to get along with people; how to discern genuine needs and know how to meet those needs.
People skills even play a critical role relative to our job security. Lee Iacocca once said, "The kiss of death on anyone's personnel file is that they don't know how to get along with people."
4. Relationships are what make an organization successful.
The body of Christ is best described in terms like family and community. Long-term, it is difficult to sustain a viable ministry organization if it does not provide to its members, a sense of belonging and relational involvement. To the contrary, people will be devoted to an organization in which they feel cared for.
Consider your musical ensembles. Their health, growth and long-term viability will be enhanced by increasing the amount of interpersonal involvement among members. Pray for one another, provide for social interaction, and demonstrate care through regular contacts.
Goleman uses a term called Group IQ that he defines as, "the sum total of the best talents of each person in a group contributed in full force." He says, "What determines the actual level of group performance isn't the potential group IQ, it is the harmony within the group - its ability to collaborate and take into account people's feeling."
On a scale of 1-10 - how good are your people skills?
What are you currently doing to improve your people skills?
The key to developing good relational skills is to learn and practice the One Anothers of Scripture. Thirty-five times in the New Testament, we see a recurring word pattern - an action verb followed by the words "one another." [ _______ one another] For instance, we are told to: prefer, accept, greet, encourage, forgive, comfort, wait for, honor…one another.
Learn how to do these key verbs and you'll learn how to relate to others in a loving, Christ-like manner. Improve your relationship skills and you'll be a more effective minister of music.
Starting with the next edition of the J&J Communicator, we'll be studying a specific One Another in each magazine. You'll not only be able to personally benefit from learning these keys to relational health, but the column will be written in such a way that you can use it as a devotional for your ministry team.
Look for next month's lesson on - "Greet one another." (Romans 16:16).
Don McMinn is the executive director of 6Acts Ministry and sponsors the annual Worship Leaders' Retreat (biannual retreats that focus on relationships in the ministry). You may reach him at djmcminn@msn.com or at www.6Acts.org.
Back to Top
|
